When my mother died 12 years ago, it was my first experiencing such a life-twisting loss. I wasn’t quite sure where to turn for information about how others had dealt with their grief. I lived in the San Franciso Bay Area at the time, so there were a number of support offerings within reach. I learned about support groups in my area, such as “Daughters Grieving the Loss of their Mothers” and discussion groups held at local centers or hospitals. Prior to Thanksgiving, I participated in a session with Howard Lunche which focused on dealing with grief through the holiday season. Howard had written a very helpful booklet, Understanding Grief, which I still share with others who are grieving. I buy several copies from Howard each year and then mail them to others (usually adults) when they suffer a loss.
When a close family member died recently, my children had their first experience with grief and loss. My husband and I gathered the three of them to share the news and I was struck by their silence. I didn’t want to fill the air with too much talking but wanted to give them time to process their feelings and ask any questions. There were no questions. . . nothing more said.
Once again, I wasn’t quite sure where to turn for information about how children/teens deal with grief. Somehow it seems different for them because they have so many other emotional, social, and other issues they are confronting all the time.
There’s a center in Dayton, Ohio called, Oak Tree Corner, that facilitates peer support groups. I like this concept because children may come to understand their emotions through hearing how peers express their own grief. (Does that make sense?) When I reviewed their website, I learned that kids can join a group at anytime, a month or a years later. I will stay attuned to their behavior over the upcoming weeks and let them know about this support group. (For my “techie” one, I will also share this online grief resource for kids.) What this suggests to me is that teen grief is similar to adult grief in that it takes time.
