Getting ready for Parent-Teacher Conferences

As parent-teacher conferences are around the corner, here are some quick tips to ensure a meaningful and productive time with your child’s teacher. .even in high school. If the conference can be student-led, please make sure that your son/daughter takes advantage of the opportunity to take ownership of their learning experience.

I like the ideas that this author offers to teachers. Parents, however, may find this list insightful as they consider their role in the parent-teacher conference. As with any communication . . . it goes both ways:

 Some ideas:#1 The point of a conference is not to display the student’s current averaged grade, point out missing assignments or contrive ways to achieve/maintain a particular grade. There are better ways to keep track of grades–which should largely be the student’s responsibility by middle school, anyway. If the only reason we hold conferences is to talk about grades, then teachers are complicit in elevating grades over learning. If a parent leaves a conference with a list of grades and nothing else, it’s wasted time.

#2 Conferences are an opportunity for two-way communication. They’re not merely a stage for teachers to give parents information on classroom performance, although many teachers do just that. Conferences are also a place for parents to tell teachers things about their child: How he likes to learn. What she says about the class at home. How he enjoys spending free time. What she says about other students in the class. After a good conference, both the parent and teacher know more about how things could be better.

#3 A conference with parties sitting on either side of a table or desk reinforces hierarchies. Figure out comfortable seating with no barriers. Making parents queue up outside your door–or sit in little tiny chairs–is neither efficient nor courteous. If Disneyland can figure out how to expedite lines and take turns, so can schools.

#4 If a parent seems to be exaggerating, there’s an underlying message. My child sits at the table every night for three hours, doing homework! If a teacher seems to be testy, or resistant I only give 15 minutes of homework per night!–a different message. Somewhere between the two claims is truth–but finding it will take some clarifying questions. Is the student unwilling to admit he doesn’t understand something? Is the teacher tied to unnecessary homework? It’s hard to ask uncomfortable questions. Do it anyway.

#5 Teachers should share stories about what each student does in class. This might involve an artifact as evidence of learning an essay, project, lab report or even a test, but sharing narratives of kids’ behavior as learners is essential. Invite parents to tell stories about the child’s use of math, language, logic, or music at home.One of the most heart-warming observations I heard as a parent was when my son’s 8th grade English teacher showed us sketches of cars Alex drew in his journal during free-writing. “Aren’t these cool?” he said. “Someday that boy’s going to work in the automotive industry.” What that told us: He’s paying attention to Alex. He knows Alex, and values Alex’s interests.

#6 Ask parents how they want to stay in touch about important things not reporting a weekly running grade. Open that channel by sending a quick initial e-mail or calling. The conference should merely be the first contact, the open door. Even if you never use the channel, it’s there.

#7 Most parents come to conferences to get a deeper sense of who’s spending time with their kids. Tell them the truth.

via Seven Ideas for Meaningful Parent-Teacher Conferences – Teacher in a Strange Land – Education Week Teacher.

 

Does this Mindset List sound like your Teen?

Last week, I said a brief “farewell” to several of my seniors from the Class of 2012. In my “Freshman Transition” meeting with them,  we discuss ways that they can get the most of their freshman year. I also remind them that they are welcome to call or text me during the year as they have questions about classes, summer internships, or other.

For parents who are sending/taking their teens to college, it can be a more emotional time. One mom that I spoke with last week was a bit teary as she talked about taking her youngest to college. Every parent’s experience will differ whether they are taking their oldest, second, or sixth child to college.

Beloit College publishes each year their “Mindset List” which uniquely describes the pulse of the entering Freshman class. As you read their top 15 of the Mindset List, did you see any of these characteristics in your teen?

The Mindset List for the Class of 2016

For this generation of entering college students, born in 1994, Kurt Cobain, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Richard Nixon and John Wayne Gacy have always been dead.

They should keep their eyes open for Justin Bieber or Dakota Fanning at freshman orientation.

They have always lived in cyberspace, addicted to a new generation of “electronic narcotics.”

The Biblical sources of terms such as “Forbidden Fruit,” “The writing on the wall,” “Good Samaritan,” and “The Promised Land” are unknown to most of them.

Michael Jackson’s family, not the Kennedys, constitutes “American Royalty.”

If they miss The Daily Show, they can always get their news on YouTube.

Their lives have been measured in the fundamental particles of life: bits, bytes, and bauds.

Robert De Niro is thought of as Greg Focker’s long-suffering father-in-law, not as Vito Corleone or Jimmy Conway.

Bill Clinton is a senior statesman of whose presidency they have little knowledge.

They have never seen an airplane “ticket.”

On TV and in films, the ditzy dumb blonde female generally has been replaced by a couple of Dumb and Dumber males.

The paradox “too big to fail” has been, for their generation, what “we had to destroy the village in order to save it” was for their grandparents’.

For most of their lives, maintaining relations between the U.S. and the rest of the world has been a woman’s job in the State Department.

They can’t picture people actually carrying luggage through airports rather than rolling it.

There has always been football in Jacksonville but never in Los Angeles.

Having grown up with MP3s and iPods, they never listen to music on the car radio and really have no use for radio at all.

via The Mindset List: 2016 List.

Please post your comment below. I look forward to hearing from you!

Do we really want to redistribute the fundraising of local education foundations?

In the spirit of complete disclosure, I volunteer time with my local district’s education foundation. Even prior to volunteering, I applaud the efforts of these foundations. Their contributions are important and many of them are envied for their fundraising prowess.

The author in this article misunderstands how they actually level the funding in many cases:

In the face of severe budget cuts, parents have stepped forward to provide generous donations to the school their children attend. Their largess has resulted in the addition of art and music classes, instructional aides and extended library hours. The problem has been that not all schools have been the fortunate recipient. As a result, the U.S. Department of Education has become involved.To understand why, it’s necessary to recall that since the late 1970s courts have repeatedly ruled that resources must be equitably distributed between rich and poor districts. When parents are permitted to give their own money to one particular school, the effect is to create a two-tier system of education between the affluent and the impoverished. Their contributions only exacerbate the already inequitable distribution of state and local funds. According to a new report from the U.S. Department of Education, more than 40 percent of low-income schools are shortchanged Office of Communications and Outreach, Nov. 30.This disparity is on display in California in the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District, where PTA donations have amounted to more than $2,100 per student at Point Dume Marine Science Elementary School in Malibu, compared with only $96 per student at McKinley Elementary School in Santa Monica. To comply with past court rulings, the school board is considering centralizing fundraising. Donations would be placed in a districtwide non-profit, which would then distribute the money evenly among all schools. (“Public schools, private donations,” Los Angeles Times, Nov. 27.)

via Drawing the Line on Parental Involvement – Walt Gardner’s Reality Check – Education Week.

When I conducted research and evaluation for districts and state education agencies, it was apparent that much of the federal funding supported the poorest districts. For example, schools with majority of their students qualifying for free and reduced-lunch would qualify for technology grants, such as Enhancing Education Through Technology (EETT). Qualifying schools would receive equipment and professional development for teachers.

My local district does not qualify for such grants. However, the education foundation makes it possible for the district to purchase equipment and technology for teachers. In this case, funding from the education foundation levels the playing field as compared to those districts that qualify for federal awards. What do you think will happen if the funding through these foundations are re-distributed?

 

What should parents do about bad online behavior that could hurt college plans?

Many parents are concerned about how to balance their kids’ online use of social media and the risks their kids may take with inappropriate postings. On one hand, parents can ban them from social media altogether, which can work . . . while their still in diapers. Another approach may be to set controls on their account, friend them on Facebook, and/or monitor their interactions. A third approach, which I have seen even from those with students in elementary and middle school, parents can take a complete hands-off approach.

In my practice, I talk with my teens about their use of social media given that an increasing number of college admissions officers are looking at this information. I certainly don’t want all of their years of hard work to be jeopardized by one inadvertent Facebook posting. This latest report from Kaplan Test Prep confirms the growth in this trend:

Stellar transcripts aside, students now have to worry about an increasing number of colleges peering at their social-networking pages online—and potentially denying their applications because of what they find there. The number of college-admissions officials using Facebook and other social-networking sites to learn more about applicants quadrupled over the past year. . . .In [Kaplan]’s 2011 survey of admissions officers from the top 500 colleges and universities, 24 percent said they have viewed publicly available pages to get a clearer picture of an applicant, while 20 percent turned to Google. Twelve percent reported that their discoveries, including photos showing underage drinking, vulgarities in blogs, and plagiarism in essays, negatively affected the chance of admission.

via Education Week: Bad Online Behavior Jeopardizes Students’ College Plans.

This 24% represents about 120 colleges and universities. That’s a fairly high number that is likely to increase given the technology that is being developed from TargetX:

 . . .with the student-recruiting firm TargetX integrating Facebook and Twitter into the technology program it designed specifically for admissions offices. . . searches are getting even easier. The Conshohocken, Pa.-based firm has made it so that with one click on a social-network icon, admissions officers can instantly link to an applicant’s profile, allowing institutions to see “the most complete and authentic picture” of their prospects. . . .

via Education Week: Bad Online Behavior Jeopardizes Students’ College Plans.

Just as school programs are talking with younger grades about online behavior, parents can do the same. School districts that offer this type of programming start as early as 5th grade (also cited in the article). When parents are reinforcing proper online behavior it facilities the discussions that should be happening at school for all college-bound students. Continual reinforcement from the elementary years may also avoid an impulse like from this high school junior:

Nick Cicchinelli, a junior at the 2,800-student Lakota West High School in West Chester, Ohio, said that he tries for the most part to keep his Facebook comments “PG” because his parents are in his network, but that he occasionally writes things he shouldn’t.

“Sometimes I just don’t think about it,” he said.

via Education Week: Bad Online Behavior Jeopardizes Students’ College Plans.

Top 3 ways that parents Blow their Teen’s Chances of College Admission

Cheers to Steve Cohen for his list of tips for how parents can be helpful to the college admissions process without blowing their kid’s chances. Parents mean well, but it can be too easy to fall into the trap of “helping” when it hurts.

In my practice, these are the top 3 areas where I see parents hurting the admissions chances:

#3 – Waiting until the last minute!

Senior year is late for starting the admissions process. A lot can be accomplished in junior year, but ideally the process would start by sophomore year. By the time senior year starts, a number of summer opportunities have been missed, scholarship deadlines are imminent, and it’s a real challenge to fit campus visits into a busy senior course load. I’ve even had some parents find out about SAT subject tests in senior year. Planning ahead removes a lot of unnecessary stress from families.

#2 – Contacting admissions officers on behalf of their son or daughter

During the application phase, it’s important that students take the lead in calling the admissions offices to ask questions and speaking for themselves during the visits. I’ve attended a number of campus visits where the students couldn’t have been less interested and disengaged, while their parents carried the conversation with the admissions staff. The most egregious is participating in the interview, as Cohen notes in his article. That’s not even acceptable for a secondary school admissions interview.

#1 – Essays

This is definitely numero uno! I’ll echo Cohen’s words here:

Don’t “tweak” their essay. The essay is a very important part of the application. It is the best window a college has into your child’s personality, interests, passions, and hopes. Some admission officers at top colleges say that they read the essay before they look at grades or SAT scores.We all have a desire to want to read our kid’s essay, correct the grammar, check the spelling, and well, make suggestions. It is OK to do all of these things. It is not OK to re-write your kid’s essay – or even “tweak” it. You shouldn’t do it for three reasons: first, it is wrong. Second, a kid-written essay provides the admission committee with real insight into your child – her passions, fears, and hopes. A parent’s tweaks often cause that texture and candor to be watered down or even lost. Your kid is applying, not you. And third, admission officers know in a heart-beat when an essay isn’t fully written by the kid. Admission officers typically read 50 essays a night. And even at the most selective colleges, it is not hard to tell the difference between an essay written by an 18 year old and a 45 year old. Even the slightest thought that the essay received more than proof-reading help from a parent can knock a kid into the reject pile.

via Don’t Blow Your Kid’s Chances of College Admission – Steve Cohen – Admissions – Forbes.

In my role as a college counselor, I never write or tweak a student’s essay. My role is to assist them in crafting the strongest essay with their authentic voice. I accomplish that through an inquiry method that I learn many years ago and have integrated into my curriculum for essay coaching. It’s never my role to change a vocabulary word or rewrite a sentence. Not only would it be unprofessional but would jeopardize my student’s chances in the same way as if a parent did so.

 

Please join me on Facebook where I add more commentary

 

Why college-bound teens should still send Handwritten Thank you notes

With all the talk in education circles about handwriting in school, we’ve overlooked the need for handwriting outside of school. Yes, I do think it’s important to continue handwriting in school but we mustn’t think of handwriting as only an academic endeavor. There are numerous occasions outside of the school setting where handwriting should be encouraged and valued. The college application essays are enhanced by handwriting them first, as suggested in this posting on how to get admitted by handwriting your college essay.

Outside of school, parents can foster handwriting with grocery lists, phone messages, and letters to grandparents. The most precious occasion for handwriting is a thank you note. Interestingly, I saw a new iPad application released yesterday on August 5, 2011, that offered a “handwritten” postcard to email. Yes, I understand you’re simulating the pen movement with your fingers but somehow the tactile experience of pen to paper just can’t be replicated with a screen. An emailed thank you just doesn’t have the same level of sincerity and appreciation. This recent article in the Dayton Daily News affirms the importance of this lost art:

While email, social media and cell phones enable people to be more connected than ever before, etiquette experts say there is no substitute for a sincere, handwritten thank-you note. “It used to be that’s all we did,” said Leah Hawthorn, etiquette coach and director of Advanced Business Image & Etiquette in Kettering. “Now, am I horrified if my thank you is in an email? No — it is 2011. But there are times you should not send anything other than a handwritten thank-you note.” Those times include a graduation, wedding and job interview. A gift, a dinner, a favor, even, an interview — might all warrant a thank-you note. “If you are not sure whether or not a thank-you note is called for, send one anyway,” Hawthorn said. “A note of appreciation is always welcome.” And time is of the essence. . . “the sooner the better. . . . According to Hawthorn, one day is the optimal thank-you turnaround. “Write a thank-you note within 24 hours of an occasion while everything is fresh in your memory,” she said. “A handwritten note will make you appear attentive, professional and sincere in your thanks.”

via Mastering the art of thank-you notes.

Last fall, several of my high school seniors visited college campuses and interviewed for admissions. After they returned, I insisted that they handwrite their thank you notes to the admissions interviewer as well as professors they met. This was a way for them to stand out among the thousands of other applicants.

Many colleges have criteria of “demonstrated interest” in their admissions decisions. These students who visited and followed up with a handwritten thank-you note not only showed their interest in the university but presented another example of their communication skills, attention to detail, and follow through!

 

Dean Julie of Stanford University shares How to get the most of Freshman Year

Dean Julie of Stanford

If you’ve listened to one of our prior Education Doctor radio shows or been a client family of my firm, then you’ve heard me preach about the college graduation rate.  I’m passionate about our country’s need to improve the college graduate rate. College graduation overall in our country today is about 55%. Shocking, isn’t it for a global leader?

Another interesting data point is that 79.5% of our freshman are retained. In short, if students are going to drop-out from college, many of them do so after freshman year. And you know something else . . . it costs us nationally over $4.14 billion dollars to educate those students who drop-out after freshman year. Wow. . . I’m blown away by these numbers and they keep me going every day. . .

Our show last Thursday, July 14 focused on Freshman year and what both students and parents can do to get the most out of this important year of their college road to graduation.

My guest was Dean Julie Lythcott-Haims, who is the Dean of Freshman and Undergraduate Advising and Associate Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education at Stanford University. I’ve known Dean Julie since she was an undergraduate Freshman at Stanford. Here’s a small world story for you . . . I was a Freshman Orientation Leader for her entering class and had memorized all the names of students in my cohort so that they would feel welcomed when they arrived. She was among my cohort of students for the class of 1989. Then when I returned to Stanford for my doctorate, I learned that Dean Julie would be the then-Dean of Freshman and Transfer Students. I had heard about her distinguished career after undergraduate and excited to see her return to the Farm. She’s an inspiration for many and shared some great advice and tips to share for students and parents on our show.

 

Here is the audio of Dean Julie Lythcott-Haims of Stanford University discussing what students and parents should know about Freshman year of college!

 

After our show, I saw a question posted on blogtalkradio by Benjamin Ezeokoli, who asked:

How should a [Stanford] freshman balance his or her time in specificity to taking courses and engaging in extracurricular activities?

Dean Julie responded:

Knowing that college presents both a different pace and different expectations than high school, I would encourage all incoming students to assume they will not be able to jump right in to the same number of extra-curriculars in college, at least not at the outset, or not to the same extent.  I think it makes good sense to spend the first term getting one’s academic bearings (i.e. what does xx number of units require of me outside of class?; what kind of success/accomplishments am I able to achieve
academically with xx units).  With that information in hand, the student can then think about adding extra-curriculars in a way that complements what they already know to be the time available in the space outside of academics.  I’m not saying don’t do extra-curriculars at the outset, in fact one or two small things might be a nice balance with academics.  I’m really speaking to the urge to get involved in five extra-curriculars, some of which are major, right away, which I think is not wise.

Please “Like” our Facebook page, The Education Doctor, to get updates on future shows. Or if you’re not on Facebook (yes, it’s possible) please sign up for our monthly newsletter which provides relevant education research, featured schools/colleges, and radio show updates!

Etienne LeGrand on Closing the Achievement Gap in Atlanta

A popular term in our education lexicon today is “achievement gap.” Believe it or not, this term was first used in the 1960s, then after 1970, it started to appear more in popular press as well. With the introduction of No Child Left Behind at the start of the millennium, it’s almost become a household phrase.

We most often hear about this achievement gap in the context of the wide test score disparity between white students and black students. A persistent achievement gap can have severe consequences for schools as well as entire communities. More importantly, although it may be an educational indicator, it takes the resources of teachers, administrators, parents, businesses, and community-based organizations to tackle this pervasive problem throughout our education system. As a naïve doctoral student several years ago, I thought that the so-called achievement gap would be eradicated by now. Each year, we learn that there is more work ahead and many bright beacons in this fight are in our communities.

Etienne LeGrand, who is the co-founder and President of the WEB DuBois Society in Atlanta joined The Education Doctor Radio show to discuss some promising initiatives she leads. My hope is that as we hear the work that’s being done in her community it will stimulate and encourage others to implement initiatives in their own community, whether they are located in Bangor, Maine, San Diego, CA or Grand Rapids, MI.

Listen to how your WEB DuBois Society is Closing Achievement Gap in Atlanta

Parenting for College readiness

Today and tomorrow, I’m attending an ACT conference and it’s patently clear that parent involvement is a critical element in college-readiness and success. College admissions staff are getting more savvy in their efforts to reach parents early in the college search process and stay in touch with parents during the college years.

In a session today led by a former Dean of Admissions, admissions officers in the audience shared that they are introducing parent newsletters, parent pages on their websites, and parent-only sessions during campus visits. Two of the colleges recognized for their parent pages were Baylor University in Texas and Elmira College in New York. The colleges are recognizing that college selection is the number one way that parents are engaged with their child. It is very common for parents of this millenial generation to research college websites, visit campuses, and contact the admissions office.

There was a point in the discussion where it seemed that the presenter suggested that admissions staff should accept that parents will attend admissions interviews. I strongly disagreed with any hint of such a practice. It’s OK for the admission staff to make some accomodations. However, it’s the student who will be attending the university and not the parent. The admissions interview should be an opportunity for the admissions staff to get to know the student and learn more about what he/she will bring to the campus and how the campus may support their success. If the student has to co-interview with a parent, then how can they ever be able to thrive independently in college.

Parents, would you really want to attend the interview with your child? What about a job interview?

Girls and easy campus romance

But the authors of a new book, “Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think About Marrying,” say all this success has come at a great cost to women’s sexual bargaining power. When it comes to relationships, they say men are calling all the shots — which means less commitment and more sex.

via The sexual cost of female success – Sex News, Sex Talk – Salon.com.