But the authors of a new book, “Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think About Marrying,” say all this success has come at a great cost to women’s sexual bargaining power. When it comes to relationships, they say men are calling all the shots — which means less commitment and more sex.
via The sexual cost of female success – Sex News, Sex Talk – Salon.com.
This Wall Street Journal article on creativity struck my fancy. An interesting fact cited in the article is that creativity scores for children kindergarten to 6th grade declined from 1990 to 2008. When you think about how the concept of “play” has changed over the years, this decline is not surprising.
When I was a kid, I had to “go outside” until the street light came on. We made up such games as “stick ball” and “can ball.” Almost any object could be used as a toy or for a game. When there was nothing around but the sounds of music, we would even create our own dances. Now that was creative, not to mention shameless. 🙂
Parent tips for Creativity
Today’s kids have a lot more entertaining diversions inside. Television and video games have certainly contributed to children expressing their creative even less. When the television and video game are turned off, parents have several options for stimulating creativity:
Unfortunately, our schools don’t always have the time to nurture creativity during the school day. Many K-12 programs have even cut their art classes. In these situations, parents may consider volunteering at school and presenting a project or event that will stimulate creativity. What creative activities have you introduced to your child’s classroom or school? Please share your ideas, especially if you have kids in middle or high school. Many parents may reduce their involvement when our kids are in middle and high school, but I encourage parents to step it up then. That’s when our kids need us even more.
When my mother died 12 years ago, it was my first experiencing such a life-twisting loss. I wasn’t quite sure where to turn for information about how others had dealt with their grief. I lived in the San Franciso Bay Area at the time, so there were a number of support offerings within reach. I learned about support groups in my area, such as “Daughters Grieving the Loss of their Mothers” and discussion groups held at local centers or hospitals. Prior to Thanksgiving, I participated in a session with Howard Lunche which focused on dealing with grief through the holiday season. Howard had written a very helpful booklet, Understanding Grief, which I still share with others who are grieving. I buy several copies from Howard each year and then mail them to others (usually adults) when they suffer a loss.
When a close family member died recently, my children had their first experience with grief and loss. My husband and I gathered the three of them to share the news and I was struck by their silence. I didn’t want to fill the air with too much talking but wanted to give them time to process their feelings and ask any questions. There were no questions. . . nothing more said.
Once again, I wasn’t quite sure where to turn for information about how children/teens deal with grief. Somehow it seems different for them because they have so many other emotional, social, and other issues they are confronting all the time.
There’s a center in Dayton, Ohio called, Oak Tree Corner, that facilitates peer support groups. I like this concept because children may come to understand their emotions through hearing how peers express their own grief. (Does that make sense?) When I reviewed their website, I learned that kids can join a group at anytime, a month or a years later. I will stay attuned to their behavior over the upcoming weeks and let them know about this support group. (For my “techie” one, I will also share this online grief resource for kids.) What this suggests to me is that teen grief is similar to adult grief in that it takes time.
The research is clear that parent involvement is important for student achievement. Parent-teacher conferences demonstrate involvement and do play a role in student classroom performance. However, when I’ve spoken with parents about parent-teacher conferences, there’s often some mixed feelings about their value.
Many parents fear that these conferences can actually hurt, rather than help. Even when I recently went to my son’s school to meet with his teacher about a grade dispute, I was nervous about whether the teacher would be vengeful later. It was important enough of an issue that I felt the need to get involved and advocate for my son, anyway. Different from a typical parent-teacher meeting, my son also joined the discussion.
One of the more encouraging trends in parent-teacher conferences is student-led conferences. My middle-school sons have led their regular, twice-a-year conferences since 6th grade. I enjoy this style much better because it gives students a chance to hear what’s being said about them and encourages them to actively participate in their learning process. Communication with the teacher is part of that learning process. Likewise, the parents can model for students how to interact with their teacher.
For parents who are getting ready for upcoming conferences, Harvard Family Research has published a useful document for reference, in English and Spanish. It also includes preparation tips for principals and teachers, which shows that the conference should be two-way communication. Reviewing the roles of principals and teachers may help ease any parent uneasiness. The parent-teacher conference is still one of the most helpful ways for parents to be engaged in their student’s academic achievement.
When was the last time you checked the openings in your district? You may not be looking for a job opening for yourself. However, the available employment opportunities in your district (or a college that you’re interested in applying to) can give a clue to the cultural climate of that campus.
I am registered on several list services that post current job openings. For a listing that I received today, there were “multiple faculty openings” at a university in an adjoining state. Some questions raised for me after seeing 15+ openings . . . What’s going on in these departments? Is the campus going through a growth spurt? Have faculty recently retired or been denied tenure? What will be the average class sizes while the search is being conducted? How will students be involved in the hiring the new faculty members? How long are these searches expected to last?
As part of the research that K-12 parents do each year when they’re looking into schools, it is a great idea to look at the job openings. Similar questions can be asked at the district level, such as How will my child’s schedule change while a position is being filled? How will substitute teachers be supported? How will the course offerings change? How will parents be notified when new prospective administrators are being considered? How long is the search anticipated to take? What input will be taken from parents/community in the hiring process, particularly for a high-profile role such as chief academic officer or superintendent?
These series of questions can be used to help families manage expectations for their child’s academic experience. The answers to these questions may also provide clues to the climate of an educational setting. In short, if there is a lot of craziness going on with the adults in teaching or administrative roles, it will impact your child at the classroom level.
Education news wires were abuzz today with the announcement of the new winners of the Race to the Top, Round 2 funds. States are vying for these funds as they see other sources to support education reform have dwindled over the years. In the process of applying for this substantial award, states have invested considerable time and resources. The grant was already released with guidelines and limitations on the parameters for using the funds. The reforms may focus on one of these areas
Early this year in the first round, two states – Tennessee and Delaware – won $600M to implement new initiatives in their respective states. The Round 2 winners announced today were Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Maryland, New York, North Carolina, Ohio and Rhode Island. These states are splitting $3.4 billion to make education reforms.
If you attend school or have children who attend school in one of these winning states, please review your state’s application. There is a chance that these reforms may have an influence on your child’s classroom. Below are links to each state’s website where you can find more information about the reforms that will take place in your state.
With each of these applications, the next consideration is how these reforms will be implemented within the context of their districts and communities. For example, a new report was released this week about the state of education for African-American boys in school districts around the country. In NYC, only 9% of African American boys in 8th grade are reading at grade level. Scary. So, how will these RTT funds be used in the context of what these students’ needs are? (Things that make you go. . . “Hmmm.”)
If you have questions about the grants, reforms, or other, please don’t hesitate to send me an email.
I’m one of those parents who has tremendous guilt even talking about this topic. However, it felt liberating to listen to parents on a recent talk show discussing the trials of parenting. Many parents struggle with dissociating children from parenting. Parents become parents by virtue of having children, so how are they not inextricably linked?
Children are humans that come packaged with their own ways of being. Each of my three children has very distinct personalities. My sons have tastes that are as different from one another as my daughter has tastes and proclivities different from either of them. They are each special in their own way and I love them unconditionally.
Parenting, on the other hand, is a never-ending series of tasks. Changing diapers, nursing around the clock, seeking a childcare provider, deciding whether to teach your child to drive or enroll them in a course, chauffering, and the list goes on. By themselves, these tasks are mundane tasks required during the stages of a child’s life. What makes them particularly stressed is that they are often fraught with worry. As my children grow older, concerns about the quality of their education take even more time.
Although the recent NY Magazine cover story and talk show discussion sounds refreshing and new in many ways, this conversation has been happening much longer, but not so bluntly. I have overheard this conversation in the school settings where middle school students are going through parent boot camps as a course requirement. These mini-lessons, often embedded in the health class or life skills curriculum, usually give students some parenting practice with a doll that they must carry and care for on a 24-hour basis. The purpose of this exercise is to raise teens’ awareness of the responsibilities that come with parenthood. Another anticipated outcome of this curriculum is that it will help lower teen pregnancy rates.
So, what do you think? Can parents separate the love for their children from the act of parenting?