The middle school years can be confusing for teens, as well as for parents! Middle schoolers want more independence from parents, yet they need even more support to navigate all the physical, cognitive, and social changes of adolescence. How do parents balance giving them autonomy and support (without embarrassing them)? Parents with middle-schoolers often feel “left in the balance” as their role and relationship with their teen is evolving.
There’s plenty of parent involvement in elementary years but a lot less in middle and high school years. However, research has shown that when the parents are engaged, kids are more likely to achieve in school, even when they’re older! What I’ve seen with many parents is that they continue to “manage” their kids live at home, but lessen their involvement at school once their teen is in middle school.
Here are my 7 tips for busy parents of middle schoolers to stay involved in the school and learning experience:
1. Get to know teachers
In the first weeks of school, meet the teacher and find out their expectations for success, exchange email addresses, and stay in touch regularly.
2. Meet other parents
Getting to know other parents can be especially helpful if you’re unable to attend all school events regularly. I suggest meeting other parents through any opportunity other than chaperoning a school dance! (Been there, done that and won’t do it again.)
3. Bookmark school website
Checking the school website regularly can keep you abreast of homework assignments, test schedules, and school-wide events.
4. Help with homework but do NOT do it
Checking a math problem, proofreading a paper, asking questions to help your teen figure out the answer are forms of helping. Once the parent puts pen to paper or gives the answer . . . they’re doing.
5. Monitor screen time
Even when it’s hard to say “no”, it’s so important for teens to have boundaries when it comes to social media/phone/internet/video game time. Consider setting a family policy on-screen time at the beginning of the school year and stick with it!
6. Post a family calendar
Help your middle-schooler develop time-management skills by writing important school dates, family travel, project deadlines, parent night outs, etc. for all family members in one place.
7. Make family time/meals at home a priority
Did you know that regular mealtime at home is the greatest predictor of high achievement? What happens at home greatly impacts what happens in the classroom!
These tips have worked for me to stay engaged with three teenagers while working and staying active in my community. I’d love to know what tips have worked for you as a busy middle school parent. Please tell me in the comments below.
